Madonna Euphoria at the Astoria

22/11/05

Brimming with utter euphoria and hysteria, the Astoria became the centre of the world for many fans Saturday night; the Queen was due to arrive just past midnight. Following last week’s “warmup” gig at Koko (formally known as Camden Palace) Madonna decided to grace the stage at club G-A-Y in London, as a special, appreciative nod to her most loyal and faithful fans: the queers.

For those obsessed and devoted enough to queue up from the early morning to seize a holy purple wristband, the sweat and tears were all worth it to see the diva of all divas. The moment people got past security and saw the stage, gloriously projecting the album cover on a screen, most forgot who they were and turned into giddy 16-year-old girls. Every half hour up to showtime, the DJ played a Madonna hit, each time sending the crowd into bedlam as scores of balloons dropped from the ceiling.

As the clock struck half past midnight, the crowd eerily chanted her name. Her band appeared, looking sharp in vintage white suits. We screamed, we cried… and then, without introduction, the clock started ticking…with that orgasmic ABBA tune crescendo...and then, in a surreal moment, the screen projecting a spinning disco ball split, and there she was.

Achingly beautiful, clad in pink sequined jacket and pink hotpants, she strut downstage, followed by an entourage of stunning creatures and performed her 11th number one, “Hung Up”. Her body moved flawlessly, her voice sounded better than ever, and when she finally spoke, she resembled the feisty twenty-something New Yorker she once was.

Playful and chatty, she asked the crowd if they approved of her new album. Responding to the wild enthusiasm, she screamed, “Good! I wrote this album for you fuckers!!”

Seductively, Madonna stripped off her jacket, revealing her unworldly body tightly wrapped in a pink vintage leotard. She sighed and asked, “Aren't you guys hot! I should have worn my bathing suit. Oh wait....I did!” Before she agreed to continue, she demanded that everyone in the front row had to take off their tops. When some were shy, she asserted, “No. That’s an order!” to which a handful of sweaty t-shirts were flung into the air.

She continued and performed “Get together” and “I Love New York” (She defended her position, saying, “‘I Love New York’ is just a figure of speech. I fucking love London!”).
She apparently loves New York so much that she was even inspired to simulate masturbation, indulging her fans with some much-appreciated, old-fashioned Madonna debauchery.

She also treated the audience to a whole lot of fierce pelvic thrusts while aggressively pulling up her leotard, making it impossible to avoid staring at her luminous, powerful crotch. She even dry-humped the New York backdrop. Sitting on the stage, she began “Let it will be”, starting off slowly and then chaotically burst into a head- banging, arms- throwing, foot-stomping dancing frenzy.

Pure Madonna heaven.

Just as the sexual energy nearly blew the top off of the Astoria, Madonna graciously thanked her fans, finishing off the show with “Everybody”, her first single from 1983. The dancers, usually with stone-cold expressions, even let loose and were laughing as they were engulfed in another excessive balloon dropping.

Just as the song was about the end, Madonna started "Jump", and everyone did the obvious, probably breaking the foundation of the venue.And then, like an apparition, she disappeared, just as swiftly as she entered. Three days later, I’m still breathless.