California native Hassan Mirza discovers the charm of sunny, sexy LA and its bubbling gay sceneIf you've never visited Los Angeles you've probably encountered its critics more often than its admirers. On a recent trip home, while playing tour guide to visiting Brit friends, I had a chance to rediscover LA, which actually possesses quite a bit of beauty and charisma. Its many offerings - including an eclectic gay scene - make it an ideal getaway, especially at a time when the exchange rate strongly favours the pound (2 to 1)!
Los Angeles often gets flack for its rebellious layout, devoid of a city centre, a sprawling cluster of neighborhoods connected by a complicated network of 5-lane freeways, with an ever-present layer of thick smog reaching from the top end to bottom. Oh yes, and the misconception that driving is the only mode of transportation. (There is, in fact, a modern, ever-expanding and inexpensive underground metro).
Unfairly pitted against New York City, which may as well be a different country, LA does have a soul. Despite the suggestions that everyone there is fame-obsessed, a brain-dead surfer, or a celebrity wannabe, the residents are every bit as different and interesting as LA's various regions.
Grauman's Chinese Theatre on Hollywood BoulevardHollywood itself has undergone major reconstructive surgery (how fitting) and billions of dollars have been spent in transforming the once dodgy area, formerly teeming with crack addicts and prostitutes, and turned it into a glittery commercial-laden tourist trap, complete with star-painted sidewalks. It is definitely an improvement on wrong end of Oxford Street, and to my LA virgins who couldn't wait to put their hands in Judy Garland's, outside Grauman's Chinese Theatre, it was a guilty pleasure.
Though Hollywood may have once been the centre of LA life, there’s plenty to see and experience elsewhere. And in the words of resident Julie Andrews, these are a few of my favourite things - to do:
1. West Hollwood pub crawl For a scene that outsiders sometimes find intimidating and harsh – LA's gayborhood, with clubs and bars situated in the West Hollywood cut of Santa Monica Blvd, shouldn’t be too much of a threat. It can be a bit of a circus on the weekend, drawing hords of gays from neighboring counties, but it is worth the effort. You’ll wanna begin at
The Abbey, LA’s most famous, most “Hollywood” gothic-inspired gay bar/restaurant. Swarming with the pretty and vacant, it’s not somewhere you wanna hang too long. But if you wanna see a celebrity, stick here. Britney was spotted there a few weeks back, wearing underpants!
Next door, is the somewhat sloppy, yet endearing, the
Motherload. A bit rough around the edges, The Motherload draws an edgier, sometimes older crowd – complete with weekly karaoke, friendly bar staff (as apposed to the Adonises at the Abbey) and pool tables. A five minute walk up the street – past former legendary club
Rage, hit up the festive
Fiesta Cantina – where Cancun meets Weho, complete with Margarita-fueled twinks, Mexican kitsch, and a fab roof terrace.
Next door is the salacious
Mickey's. Often snubbed for being trashy, Mickey's can be a giggle, especially because it’s the only place to go when all the other clubs close, serving alcohol for another hour. Despite the music being a bit limited to Salsa music and bad pop, Mickey's is well known for their raunchy latin go-go boys, who enthusiastically expose their bits for a mere buck. If G-A-Y is your scene, you may appreciate Thursday’s europop twink fest –
Tigerheat. Named after Heat-esque teen mag, Tigerbeat, this 18+ club draws in a slew of barely legals, who’ve often binged on vodka prior to entering ( only 21+ can drink) so it has potential to entertain.
Hotdog's club adThe best night out is the comically vulgar
Hotdog at venue, 7969. Previously Hotdog was at smaller venue Parlour –which was especially scandalous for its smoke-friendly back room - but has moved on since this Horse Meat Disco–esque party attracts the masses of gays tired of Weho pretense. Attracting an eclectic crowd of bearded boys, jaded creatives, trannies, fashionistas, and 70s porn-themed go-go boys and girls, this energetic night satisfies for a ‘plump and juicy’ Saturday night.
2. Biking through Venice One word. Heaven . For a Southern California native with an unreasonable aversion to the ocean, biking from Marina del Rey up through Venice Beach and to Santa Monica isn’t something I would normally consider. Anything not involving a car usually scares LA'ers. However, once I got my lazy arse on a bike, I was awe-struck with the experience.
It lives up completely to your most endearing cliché image of LA; the sun shining, people laughing, beautiful boys and girls jogging in slow motion down the sand, the sun-bleached surfers. The only thing missing was the cast of
Roller Boogie (1979), skating in formation around Venice wearing bright spandex, now made eerily trendy by American Apparel . Even around Christmas time, the weather is unbeatable, and through biking you can get a taste of the marina and seafood heaven in Marina Del Rey, the “Camden meets the beach” vibe in Venice, and shopping heaven at Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica.
Venice Beach, home of Romy and Michelle3. SilverlakeEast of Hollywood, before you hit LA’s lacklustre Downtown, is the mushrooming and trendy Silverlake. Attracting a mix of artists, hipsters, leather daddies – Silverlake may be a bit more your cupa’ if being surrounded by the cliché gay party boy isn’t ideal. That said, Silverlake does attract its fair share of eye- candy, especially at relaxed bar/disco –
Akbar.
Morrocan-themed, the vibe is relaxed and friendly. Hosting the well received Dirty Dirty House Club on Thursday nights, Akbar also is THE destination for trendy-but-not-too-trendy 25-40 year olds looking for a fab night out, where you can actually strike up conversation over music.
MJ’s, formerly Woody’s which has been modernly refurbished, is quite popular with the leather crowd, and plays a mix of disco, classic rock, and hip-hop. Also don’t miss Silverlake’s popular leather festival in April.
4. Melrose AvenueThe only respectable shopping destination devoid of “chains” or “mall”. The long stretch of boutique shops, fab retro and vintage gems, trendy coffee shops and quality eats, Melrose is most famously referenced in
Clueless and the trashtastic
Melrose Place. The non-mall atmosphere is actually quite liberating and also attracts its fair share of gays, milling through the bargain racks. If you are seeking labels, hit up
The Beverly Centre,
The Grove, or Santa Monica’s
Third Street Promenade.
5. Studio tour 
Sony Studio's generic Main StreetSince you’re in Hollywood, it makes sense to take time and explore the studios which put Hollywood on the map! Many of them are tourist-friendly, more notably
Universal Studios, which is a big, loud theme park within itself. Because I was with a movie musical fanatic, we went to
Sony Studios, formerly the magnificent MGM. Although the tour guide tried to impress us with news of Sony’s latest up coming blockbuster, Spiderman 3, we were far more interested in where The Wizard of Oz was filmed and of course, where Judy Garland was forced to work ‘round the clock on amphetamine-fuelled dance numbers.
Although I was a bit less-than-impressed, the other tourists ‘ooh’ed and ‘ah’ed all the way through every film set. In Culver City, home of Sony Studios, also lies the
Culver Hotel, where the munchkins from the Wizard of Oz were famously housed – drawing media coverage when drunken dwarfs brawled, and female drawfs were busted soliciting.
Upon arrival, we shamelessly asked the front door clerk why they didn’t have more Wizard of Oz memorabilia – a request which was met with blank stares. Nevertheless, a studio tour in LA is a must.
6. The Getty CentreNestled in the Hollywood Hills, The Getty Centre is architecturally awe-inspiring and boasts the most dramatic views in the entire city. The surrounding gardens, fountains, and an elegant café make this trip to the museum especially friendly to people who quickly tire of museums. LA’s equivilant of the Tate Modern, the Getty Centre houses a vast European collection of paintings, drawings, photography and sculpture.
The Getty I visited an exhibition called
Where We live: Photographs of America from the Berman Collection, a comment on the ever-present fallacy of the American Dream– focussing on 20th century locations famous for doubt and controversy. Captivating and nuanced, it was the perfect exhibit to visit before heading out to the Getty garden’s hedge maze.
7. Muholland Drive With David Lynch’s surreal masterpiece named after it, it’s no wonder why this famous Hollywood hills windy road captures the imagination of visitors, radiating mystery and danger. Very narrow and minus any street lights, driving on Muholland Drive, which at night can make you feel like you’re suddenly miles away from civilisation.
It’s only when you come around a corner when you know that the city is closer than you think, when the city appears almost floating, for what seems like a mile beneath you. The views are utterly spectacular. On one side you see the Valley, and on the other side – Downtown Los Angeles, and East LA. During the day you should be able to see things more distinctly, but at night its simply a sea of glittering lights.
The view from Mulholland
